my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
