angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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