You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm bleeding and have questions
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
