hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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