if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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