This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize