What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
