he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
