i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
