She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
