He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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