just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
