Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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