well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
