i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
