what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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