I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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