So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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