I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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