So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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