Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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