Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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