Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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