I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
