just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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