Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
