If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
