We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I still have a little drunk in my system
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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