I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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