Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
