You're my little dorito
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
