my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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