I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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