1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone signed my nipple.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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