Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize