I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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