yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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