Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
