So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
