hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
