I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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