check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
