Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
