grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
