take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize