I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize
