I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize