My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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