You work out of a Hotel?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
