DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
