thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
