My liver just broke up with me...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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