I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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