so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
