good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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