Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
