Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises