Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize