The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize