my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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