You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize